We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
