? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
