Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
