he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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