The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
