They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
