Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
