maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bring me that man meat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize