The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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