just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If I die, sorry about rent.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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