I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
