Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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