It's like God shit irony all over that family
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
