Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize