i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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