I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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