why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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