Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
