are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
