oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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