you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just forgot I was standing up.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
