thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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