I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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