apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize