I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize