just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
