that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
