..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
