We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize