I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
