I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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