i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think I am morally bankrupt
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
