Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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