matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
