Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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