remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
