Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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