That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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