I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
