I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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