I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
