How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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