I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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