Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nicole vs. Life
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
