he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
