i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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