Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
