after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize