u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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