I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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