found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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