I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
