i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
