god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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