covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
