When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
