He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
