Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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