..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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