$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
