Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
