Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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