im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
