he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
