Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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