I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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