Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
