Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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