yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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