I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
