She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
