and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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