too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
