I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize